great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
