i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
