remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
