Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
