i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
