he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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