garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
