You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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