They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
