We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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