the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
