The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Randomize
