Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Randomize
