I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
