I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
