u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
