I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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