I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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