I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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