Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
