she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
