This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
