It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
