She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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