i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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