Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
