I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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