dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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