I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
