I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
