mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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