Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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