Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
