It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
