the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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