John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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