dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
