I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
