Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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