we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
