He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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