all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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