You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
