Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Randomize
