wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
