ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
