What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
