weddingsv make me drug and hornr
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
