were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
