If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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