Where is the hickey?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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