I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
