I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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